chalriepace:

humansofnewyork:

"So do you sell drugs?" "No I’m only five"

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terns:

mark your territory by crying on things

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its-tuesday-again:

i just found out that siri will read emojis

in related news, this is the best day of my life

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judge: why did you kill that man

me: it's a metaphor

judge: oh....ok lol

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crownofkingmoriarty:

TARDIS

All of time and space, everywhere and anywhere. Every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?

A simple painting of the TARDIS. (x)

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inspiring:

mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor

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Anonymous said: tell us your most embarrassing story
jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

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dogrot:

thank u object head generator for this cutie
im gonna keep ‘em

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captainmjolnir:

People criticizing TFIOS because Gus sounds pretentious???

that was the point???

like literally at his fake funeral his best friend talks about how fucking pretentious he is and how annoying it was???

It was one of his character flaws? He was deliberately written that way?

You’re not being clever or critical by pointing it out, you are literally stating a fact about the novel that the author deliberately wrote

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festeringfae:

Reminder that the creators of Night Vale made their show without any corporate sponsorship or financial compensation other than donations and selling T-shirts and they made it to the number one slot on Itunes and they did it with a godblessed openly queer protagonist and an explicitly dark-skinned love interest thank you and good night.

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teemode:

but

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floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

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they were inseparable (x) (x)

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